Tag Archives: life

Why It’s OK to Give Up… Sometimes

Me looking very tired in my motorcycle gear.

Me looking very tired in my motorcycle gear.

This past weekend I attended my first motorcycle class. I was nervous and excited, but to be honest, I didn’t have much time to think about it. I’ve had an insane week.

Prior to going into any new situation, I like to prepare myself– mentally and physically. (Amy Cuddy has an amazing TED talk about body language and confidence.) But this time, it just didn’t happen. I went into the class unprepared.

I’ve been wanting to learn to ride a motorcycle for a while. And when the college I work at started offering classes, I jumped at the chance– just like I usually jump at every chance and opportunity that comes my way.

But jumping at every opportunity has its disadvantages. George and I had a long talk last night about how we spread ourselves too thin. We were taught at a young age to go for every opportunity because it might not come our way again. We were also taught the art of perseverance and to never, ever, under any circumstance give up.

The older I get, the more I think I need to stop jumping at every little opportunity that passes by. I also am beginning to think that sometimes it just might be ok to give up. I was feeling disheartened, unenthusiastic and worn out by the end of my motorcycle class on Saturday. I was dreading attending class on the following day.

I had several people try to convince me that I shouldn’t “give up” and that I should “push through.” But at the end of the day on Saturday, I wasn’t having fun anymore. So I listened to my body and my instincts and I quit the class. It is the first thing I can remember ever consciously quitting.

Yesterday I let myself sleep in and relax all day with George. And it felt good. Really good. I experienced a little twinge of guilt when my alarm went off in the morning, but I hit the ignore button and kept on sleeping. Because that was what I needed at that moment.

I will attempt to learn how to ride a motorcycle again. But next time I’m doing it at my own speed. When that next opportunity or project rolls around, I am going to think twice and remember that sometimes it is ok to quit things that aren’t important.

Have you ever been a “quitter?”

love,
melanie

Potential is More Important than Experience

potential

 

The job market is tough. I’ve been attempting to relocate for over a year, but it is much more difficult than I ever imagined. I’m just trying to remind myself that things happen for a reason and I have infinite potential. It just seems that quantity of experience keeps beating me. I have a great quality and variety of career experience, but my limited years of experience seem to be a hard thing to look past.

In the past year I’ve applied to almost 100 jobs. I’ve had the pleasure of one interview and zero job offers. It is a struggle. Some days there are feelings of inadequacy followed by hope, followed by hopelessness. I’ve tailored my résumé to each job and spent countless hours researching and filling out applications. And it’s hard to remain positive.

I thought the job market was better than it was 4 years ago when I completed my undergraduate degree. I went back to school because the job market was so tough. Now I have a job and I am incredibly thankful for it, but my job is in a rural location with very little potential for growth. George and I have big city dreams.

I thought of the quote in the picture above when I was trying to be cheer myself up. I want it to be true. I want my potential to outweigh my limited quantity of experience. I don’t want to work with someone who can’t see the amazing person that I am, the amazing work I currently do, and the amazing work I have the ability to do in the future.

I also think the above quote applies to all aspects of someone’s life– not just career life. You shouldn’t be romantically involved with someone who can’t recognize your potential. You shouldn’t be friends with someone who brings you down and doesn’t see the amazing person you are.

What do you think? Is potential more important than experience? Are you struggling in the current job market? Let me know in the comments!

Media Monday

Hey ya’ll! Just dropping by to tell you about a couple of cool things I found today.

First off, I’m on Vine (find it on the App store). It’s a video sharing app and it is super fun. It’s kind of like Instagram, but with videos. If you are on Vine already, let me know! I want to follow you!

Also, I’ve watched this adorable, hilarious, inspirational video multiple times today.

Not cool Robert Frost!

love,
melanie

2013: The Year of Kindness and Simplicity

I took this picture at midnight on NYE. Fireworks over the Mississippi river.

I took this picture at midnight on NYE. Fireworks over the Mississippi river.

I’m a little late to the New Year’s game, but it’s never too late to set goals for yourself. Right? In 2013, I’m not resolving, but I’m making S.M.A.R.T. goals to simplify my life and be nicer to myself. I’m not going to share my specific “S.M.A.R.T.” goals because they’re too personal. Sometimes keeping goals a secret is smart too.

I’ve recognized over the past year with the stresses of taking on more responsibilities at work and planning a wedding that I need to be nicer to myself. I can’t beat myself up if the dishes aren’t done or if I never finish the unending laundry pile in my downstairs bathroom. I can’t even beat myself up if my blog posts are sporadic.

I’ve also recognized that I want to live a simpler life– which means owning less stuff and appreciating small things. I feel so lucky to have so much: a new husband, a loving family and  a warm place to live. This year, I want to appreciate all I have everyday.

Is anyone else trying similar goals? Let me know in the comments.

love,
melanie

How To Set Smart Goals

This baby knows how to create S.M.A.R.T. goals!

This baby knows how to create S.M.A.R.T. goals!

 

In general, New Year’s resolutions aren’t kept. It’s two weeks into the new year and resolutions are already being pushed to the wayside. Let’s be honest– how many times have we all resolved to “get in shape”? Since resolutions are so easy to break instead I like to make goals. What makes goals different than resolutions? Well, resolutions are broad, sweeping, overly ambitious changes. On the other hand, goals can be S.M.A.R.T. In order to be S.M.A.R.T. goals must be:

S Specific
M Measurable
A Attainable
R Relevant
T Timely

How to create a S.M.A.R.T. goal is by far one of the best things that I have learned in the past couple of years. By using this method, I’ve attained almost 100% of the goals I’ve set for myself.  And the ones that didn’t work weren’t S.M.A.R.T.!

So, what’s an example of a S.M.A.R.T. goal? Well, let’s say you want to “get in shape”. We all want this. So take that broad goal, and start thinking more specifically. Your brain might sound something like this: “Well, I am pretty happy with the way I eat, but my workout plan is horrendous.” Now, you’re narrowing it down, your making a goal more specific.

Next look at the measurable aspect. This should get you thinking about a specific outcome. If you currently work out sporadically, you might want to set a time and date to go to the gym or workout from home.  This is also the time to think about attainability. Let’s be real, none of us are going to look like a Victoria’s Secret model overnight and maybe we never will. But that’s ok. Maybe just loosing 2 inches off of your waist by working out at the gym 3 days a week is an attainable and measurable goal.

The last two aspects of a smart goal are relevance and timeliness. Now, I always struggle with relevance because sometimes it causes you to think very broadly. Relevance asks you if this is the right time in your life for this goal. If you just took on 15 other goals, this might not be the time in your life to take on working out too. (Although, you should always have time for your health.) Relevance just causes you to think deeply about the worthiness of the goal at hand.

Finally, we come to timeliness. This one is easy! By what date do you want to accomplish your goal? Going on vacation this summer? Bam! You’ve got a date.

The broad resolution “to get in shape” now turned into the smart goal of “Loosing 2 inches off my waist by June 30, 2013 by working out at the gym on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays in order to improve my overall health and appearance.” It’s not quite as catchy as “get in shape,” but it is a heck of a lot more attainable.

Now after all this, I’m going to let you know that loosing inches off my waist is not my 2013 goals. I’m actually going to share my goals with you all later this week. I just wanted to share my successful goal setting strategies in the hopes that it will challenge you to make better goals and achieve your dreams. Corny, huh?

Did you set any resolutions or goals for 2013? Let me know in the comments!

love,
melanie

Things No One Told Me About Planning a Wedding

Who has a Victrola at their wedding?

Well, folks, I know I’m trying to make this more of a library and book themed blog, but all of my free time lately has been consumed by wedding planning. George and I will be getting married in 3 months and I am feeling the crunch– literally– I’ve been working out like it is going out of style.

I’ve been failing miserably to make planning stress-free and I feel it is partly because I’ve been totally misinformed about the whole planning process. Everyone told me wedding planning would be fun and a great chance for you to spend time with your family and your “hubby-to-be.” (That phrase is gag-worthy, by the way.) Well, everyone was, for the most part, wrong. It’s been stressful, and hard, and I’ve seen even less of my family and fiancee.

I know it sounds a little surly, but I wish someone would have told me that WEDDING PLANNING SUCKS. It sucks all the free time out of your life. Hobbies, forget it. Chores, forget those too. This blog, yeah, neglected. Now you have another job. And that job is planning. Those people who told me that “Oh, you’re having a small wedding, it will be nice and stress-free” should eat their words.

Here are some of the things I wish someone had told me about planning even the smallest of wedding gatherings.

6. You may get more self-conscious about your own appearance. (Wedding pictures last forever, right?!)

5. Some people, be them the bestest of friends or the closest of family will probably get mad at you during some point in this process. (If you are having a small wedding with a big family, be prepared for the hell that is the invite list.)

4. People will judge you for doing unconventional things. I heard this one as not doing things “right.” (It’s a very Southern thing to say.)

3. You may start to understand the women who appear on the tv show, Bridezillas. It is a disgusting display of humanity, but I heard the “bridezillas” say a few key phrases that I’ve spit out. (I.E. Well, this is MY wedding, not theirs!)

2. Even small weddings can be ridiculously expensive. (Tack “wedding” onto any phrase and it becomes $1,000 more in price.)

1. Wedding planning is not fun. (You may start to even hate your own wedding at some point and have elaborate elopement fantasies.)

I don’t have much advice on how to avoid the perils of planning and sometimes I wonder if it can be avoided. I simply hope my unpreparedness helps future-brides. And I hope my own planning journey reward is a relatively stress-free wedding.

What do you wish you were told before you began planning for your own wedding?

love,
melanie

How to Deal with Disappointment

Remember that job I told you all about? Well, I didn’t get it. Recovering from the disappointment and starting a new school semester has been difficult. In fact, I haven’t been blogging much lately because I’ve been both amazingly busy with the rush of students and I’ve been busy moping.

I’m not afraid to admit to you all that I cried when I found out that I lost the job to another applicant. I’m also not afraid to admit that I ate way too much and maybe drank a little too much that evening in the hopes that it would make me feel better. I didn’t feel better. I just felt bloated.

To cheer myself up on this rainy Monday morning, I made a quick list of things that I am happy about. I forced myself to write 20 items. It was difficult to write at first, because I love to be a pessimist. It’s just my nature of self-improvement, I suppose. But after the first couple of list items, it became much easier to think of things I am happy and thankful for. I have a wonderful life.

There will be more job opportunities in the future. In fact, I applied for one over the weekend. I can’t—I won’t let this get me down.

How do you fight disappointment in life? Let me know in the comments.

love,
melanie

Love Books: Ray Bradbury

I was terribly sad to hear of Ray Bradbury’s passing on Tuesday. Although the man was 91 and lived a rich and full life (presumably), I’m still sad to hear of a great author’s passing. As with most the passing of other famous folk, I always seem to learn something new about the person post-modem.

I was delighted to learn that Mr. Bradbury was such an outspoken advocate for libraries. He even wrote Fahrenheit 451 in a library!

After watching this video, I felt such a kinship to Mr. Bradbury. We both love libraries and books and cats and life. And isn’t that what it’s all about?

Rest in peace, Mr. Bradbury. You will live forever in the pages of your novels.

love,
melanie

Love Adventure

Last weekend, George and I went on a motorcycle ride to the Great Dismal Swamp. Although the swamp isn’t far from our house, it was quite the adventure. Prior to the trip, I had only rode on George’s bike at about 45 mph. I’m not afraid to admit that at 70 mph, I was holding on for dear life. George is terribly ticklish and he said I had to stop holding him in a death grip because he might die from laughter. I managed to get a few snapshots on the bike after I got my courage up.

The swamp has a man-made canal! Next time, I want to take my canoe down the canal.

We had a picnic and watched boats sail down the canal.

We made jokes about this guy’s “dingy” hanging out.

And on the way back home, I got up my nerve enough to take a couple of pictures from the bike.

What kind of adventures do you have planned this weekend?

love,
melanie

Peach Mint Juleps for the Kentucky Derby

Peach Mint JulepThe Kentucky Derby is pretty big deal in my family. In fact, my mom used to serve juleps at the derby! Most of my extended family still lives in Louisville, so horse racing is right up there with basketball on the important sports scale. There isn’t really an important sports scale, I was just being facetious.

Peach Mint Julep Close-upAnyway, the derby is a great excuse to bring out your inner Gatsby– wear a large hat, make bets, and drink the classic derby drink, a mint julep.

But I have to tell ya’ll a secret. I am a proper southern lady, but I’m not the biggest mint julep fan. The drink always seems too sweet or too boozy. So, I put a little spin on the classic with the addition of peaches. I adapted the recipe from the following two recipes: Stonefruit and Mint Julep and Frozen Mint Julep.

This recipe will make four small drinks or two large drinks. I don’t judge.

Ingredients:

1/2 cup of water
1 cup of sugar
2 cups of mint leaves
1 cup of Kentucky Bourbon
2 cups of frozen peaches
1 handful of ice

Step 1: Make a mint-flavored simple syrup by boiling the sugar, water and torn mint leaves together. Use a whisk to help the sugar dissolve in the water.

Step 2: After sugar has dissolved, take the syrup off the heat and let it cool. As the syrup is cooling, blend the whiskey, peaches and ice in a blender until it is the consistency of a smoothie.

Step 3: Once syrup has cooled to the touch, strain the mint out of syrup.

Step 3: Add the syrup to the blender and give it one last whir to ensure the mixture is completely blended.

Step 4: Wet the rim of your glass with water or fruit and dip the glass rim in sugar. Pour in your drink and garnish with a sprig of mint.

Step 5: Bet on the prettiest horse (which is usually my strategy) and enjoy your julep!

Note: Traditionally a mint julep is served in a silver goblet! Crazy, huh? Since I didn’t have any silver goblets lying around, I served the drinks in plain ‘ol chilled mason jars.

love,
melanie